Dear Maddy, Abbey and Izzy,
I have loved each of you since you were just a tiny cluster of cells, not even the size of a period at the end of a sentence. I thank my lucky stars every day that God picked me to be your mother. I will love you as long as I walk this earth, and then I will love you from Heaven until you are very old great-grandmothers, and then I will be waiting for you. And Izzy, when you see me walking your way, be ready for a very hard long hug.
I worry every day about mistakes I make with you. If I yell, will you grow up to hate me? If I'm too much of a pushover, will you grow up to be a spoiled monstrosity? These are the things that keep me up at night sometimes.
While I can't see the future, and I don't have any idea what tomorrow holds for us, there are some promises I can make to you now.
I will never expect you to repay me for being your mother. Not only was it my choice to be a mother, you are a gift. You were given to me and your father to love and raise and guide. It is our job to help you become the person you were meant to be, and being party to that miracle is the only restitution I will ever need.
I will never count what you give me, send me, how many times you call me, if you remember my birthday or our wedding anniversary. I won't hold it against you if you decide to have the holidays with your in-laws. I won't sulk if you elope to Las Vegas. I love you, I will always remember your birthday and anniversary. I will be there when you want me, and stand back when you need me to.
I won't force you to do things the way I want to, because it's your life to live, not mine. I will be there to hug you and wipe away your tears. I will be there when you need someone to last out at, because you can't yell at the person who deserves it. I will be there to call the guy who dumped you a jack ass and offer Daddy's services to break his legs. And I will like him again (publicly, but not privately) when you get back together 3 days later. I will drive 16 hours to visit you at college for parent's weekend, and I won't mind at all when you leave me at the hotel at 9pm so you can go out. FYI, your father and I have both agreed that we will not supply you with alcohol while at college even when you are legal. I have also decided that I will not wear my bikini and lay out with you and your friends. I also will not be playing the part of inappropriate cougar mom, so be prepared for Mommy Fuddy Duffy.
Your father and I will happily foot the bill for your wedding, within reason, and we promise to let you enjoy your day. We will not mar the occasion with any arguments or problems we are having at that time. Your wedding day will be about YOU!!! Well, your husband too, but really, you.
There are, however, a few things we need from you. Please make choices for yourself, don't let other people make them for you. When you become actual teenagers and you hate us, don't let that stage last too long, we will miss you, and want you back. When it's time for you to start your own family, remember that we are fun and would love to be regular babysitters. We promise to mostly follow your rules, and time schedules. Mostly. When it's time for the holidays, we would love to keep hosting, but we will happily travel wherever you are, as long as we don't have to pick the stuffing.
I love you, Daddy loves you. That will be true forever and ever.
I have loved each of you since you were just a tiny cluster of cells, not even the size of a period at the end of a sentence. I thank my lucky stars every day that God picked me to be your mother. I will love you as long as I walk this earth, and then I will love you from Heaven until you are very old great-grandmothers, and then I will be waiting for you. And Izzy, when you see me walking your way, be ready for a very hard long hug.
I worry every day about mistakes I make with you. If I yell, will you grow up to hate me? If I'm too much of a pushover, will you grow up to be a spoiled monstrosity? These are the things that keep me up at night sometimes.
While I can't see the future, and I don't have any idea what tomorrow holds for us, there are some promises I can make to you now.
I will never expect you to repay me for being your mother. Not only was it my choice to be a mother, you are a gift. You were given to me and your father to love and raise and guide. It is our job to help you become the person you were meant to be, and being party to that miracle is the only restitution I will ever need.
I will never count what you give me, send me, how many times you call me, if you remember my birthday or our wedding anniversary. I won't hold it against you if you decide to have the holidays with your in-laws. I won't sulk if you elope to Las Vegas. I love you, I will always remember your birthday and anniversary. I will be there when you want me, and stand back when you need me to.
I won't force you to do things the way I want to, because it's your life to live, not mine. I will be there to hug you and wipe away your tears. I will be there when you need someone to last out at, because you can't yell at the person who deserves it. I will be there to call the guy who dumped you a jack ass and offer Daddy's services to break his legs. And I will like him again (publicly, but not privately) when you get back together 3 days later. I will drive 16 hours to visit you at college for parent's weekend, and I won't mind at all when you leave me at the hotel at 9pm so you can go out. FYI, your father and I have both agreed that we will not supply you with alcohol while at college even when you are legal. I have also decided that I will not wear my bikini and lay out with you and your friends. I also will not be playing the part of inappropriate cougar mom, so be prepared for Mommy Fuddy Duffy.
Your father and I will happily foot the bill for your wedding, within reason, and we promise to let you enjoy your day. We will not mar the occasion with any arguments or problems we are having at that time. Your wedding day will be about YOU!!! Well, your husband too, but really, you.
There are, however, a few things we need from you. Please make choices for yourself, don't let other people make them for you. When you become actual teenagers and you hate us, don't let that stage last too long, we will miss you, and want you back. When it's time for you to start your own family, remember that we are fun and would love to be regular babysitters. We promise to mostly follow your rules, and time schedules. Mostly. When it's time for the holidays, we would love to keep hosting, but we will happily travel wherever you are, as long as we don't have to pick the stuffing.
I love you, Daddy loves you. That will be true forever and ever.
I. Love...... This. And you. Yes you. Mommy Fuddy Duffy. Hahah! <3
ReplyDeleteBeautiful. Thank you for reminding me the same promises to my children. You are a blessing to so many, Niki, through your heart and words . I am glad to be connected to you through your blog even from miles away in Pennsylvania.
ReplyDeleteMotherhood is a constanly changing thing and we as mother's always share a bond with our children that never goes away but does change as our children age. The relationship is always there, sometimes it hurts for a moment, sometimes a mother finds herself in silent tears that she can't explain as she watches her children grow and become their own unique self. However as a mother and a child of a mother let me add this to your site in that no matter how old you live to be you are now and always will be a child to me. You are at the stage now that not only are you my daughter, a wife and a mother yourself, but you are a wonderful person who I couldn't be more proud of in every way. I may not be able to protect you from every thing that happens, I may not have the answers any more now than I did when you were little and constanly asking "WHY?" but I will always love you, help you and be there for you as you and Duffy will always be there for your girls. They are lucky to have you as MOM. love M
ReplyDelete