The crying was muffled because it was coming from under the bed. It had been going on for hours. Days really. Things hadn't been normal since the baby came home from the hospital.
"I don't see why I can't go to school with you. Do you know that she made me lay down on the couch so she could CHANGE THE DIAPER? Do you know what is in those diapers? And do you know what sometimes happens when the diaper gets changed? It pees. I have been in the washing machine 3 times just this week. Are you trying to kill me?" Blanket wailed and buried his face in the carpet. He had been miserable since Abbey's new baby brother James Thomas had come home from the hospital.
"It's not that bad. I already promised you that I would make sure you were safely upstairs before I left for school. If you're in my room, I seriously doubt that she'll run all the way upstairs to snatch you up to use as a changing pad."
"I'm so serious. If you forget me on the couch again, I may just go beserk. I don't think you have any idea what I'm capable of. I have time on my hands you know. I've been thinking." Blanket looked up from the carpet and grinned. Abbey was sure he was trying to look sinister but managed only to look he'd sucked on a lemon.
She left the house for school and didn't think any more of their conversation until she got home that afternoon. She knew something was wrong as soon as she walked in the door. James was wearing nothing but a diaper, furiously sucking a pacifier and sitting in his bouncy seat. Mommy was wearing Daddy's tshirt and sweat pants, on her hands and knees cleaning up a large mess on the carpet. Her older sister Maddy was sitting on the couch looking very smug. Mommy stopped scrubbing and looked at Abbey.
"Would you care to explain to me why a whole stack of James' diapers had holes cut in them? He pooped all over me and the carpet because of it. Then when I put another booby-trapped diaper on, he peed on me. That is not funny. But you know what else isn't funny? Hiding the High School Musical microphone in his crib so when I turn on the baby monitor the shrieking woke up the baby. And what is even less funny than that is putting all of the pacifiers in the dog food bowls so I didn't have any for James to use until I could wash and sanitize them all. And let me tell you, your father is not going to laugh when I tell him there are no sheets on the bed because someone put paint in the wipes tub so when I pulled out a wipe I splatterd paint all over the bed. And I can't tell you how hard I did NOT laugh when I found James' dirty laundry folded in among his clean clothes."
Abbey stood there silently trying to think of something to say. "Mommy, I swear it wasn't me. I swear."
"Oh right Abbey, the funny practical joker of the house, it wasn't you. Ha ha ha. It was much funnier when you played all your jokes on Daddy. As soon as I have time and energy, I'm going to prank you like nobody's business." She smiled and kissed Abbey on the forehead.
Abbey walked upstairs. Although she had escaped punishment, due largely to the Mommy's lack of sleep and energy, she wasn't taking any chances. Out of sight, out of mind. Besides, she had a bone to pick with someone.
"I don't see why I can't go to school with you. Do you know that she made me lay down on the couch so she could CHANGE THE DIAPER? Do you know what is in those diapers? And do you know what sometimes happens when the diaper gets changed? It pees. I have been in the washing machine 3 times just this week. Are you trying to kill me?" Blanket wailed and buried his face in the carpet. He had been miserable since Abbey's new baby brother James Thomas had come home from the hospital.
"It's not that bad. I already promised you that I would make sure you were safely upstairs before I left for school. If you're in my room, I seriously doubt that she'll run all the way upstairs to snatch you up to use as a changing pad."
"I'm so serious. If you forget me on the couch again, I may just go beserk. I don't think you have any idea what I'm capable of. I have time on my hands you know. I've been thinking." Blanket looked up from the carpet and grinned. Abbey was sure he was trying to look sinister but managed only to look he'd sucked on a lemon.
She left the house for school and didn't think any more of their conversation until she got home that afternoon. She knew something was wrong as soon as she walked in the door. James was wearing nothing but a diaper, furiously sucking a pacifier and sitting in his bouncy seat. Mommy was wearing Daddy's tshirt and sweat pants, on her hands and knees cleaning up a large mess on the carpet. Her older sister Maddy was sitting on the couch looking very smug. Mommy stopped scrubbing and looked at Abbey.
"Would you care to explain to me why a whole stack of James' diapers had holes cut in them? He pooped all over me and the carpet because of it. Then when I put another booby-trapped diaper on, he peed on me. That is not funny. But you know what else isn't funny? Hiding the High School Musical microphone in his crib so when I turn on the baby monitor the shrieking woke up the baby. And what is even less funny than that is putting all of the pacifiers in the dog food bowls so I didn't have any for James to use until I could wash and sanitize them all. And let me tell you, your father is not going to laugh when I tell him there are no sheets on the bed because someone put paint in the wipes tub so when I pulled out a wipe I splatterd paint all over the bed. And I can't tell you how hard I did NOT laugh when I found James' dirty laundry folded in among his clean clothes."
Abbey stood there silently trying to think of something to say. "Mommy, I swear it wasn't me. I swear."
"Oh right Abbey, the funny practical joker of the house, it wasn't you. Ha ha ha. It was much funnier when you played all your jokes on Daddy. As soon as I have time and energy, I'm going to prank you like nobody's business." She smiled and kissed Abbey on the forehead.
Abbey walked upstairs. Although she had escaped punishment, due largely to the Mommy's lack of sleep and energy, she wasn't taking any chances. Out of sight, out of mind. Besides, she had a bone to pick with someone.
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