Oh Joyous Morn

Holy sleep deprivation batman. In the last 451 nights. I can count 6 where I got a full restful night’s sleep that did not involve being awakened by someone crying, howling, puking, wet or poopy. Today’s wake up was at 3:58 am. The boy was wide awake and jumping in his bed, laughing and ready to start his day. Seriously.
So I brought him back to my bed and gave him a bottle of warm milk, because SOMETIMES that will settle him enough for a smidge more sleep. Nope, not happening today. He banged said bottle of milk on my forehead, pressed his forehead to my forehead, stared at me and yelled “MAMAMAMAMAMAMAMAMA” until I opened my eyes. Then he proceeded to jump all over the bed, roll off of said bed, and take off down the hallway.
So we headed off to the downstairs where the dogs rolled their eyes, got off the couches and zoomed upstairs to continue their sleep, uninterrupted by the ear pulling terrorist. He has however stopped biting them, so in my mind they are getting a much better deal. I put a cup under the Keurig and make him a bowl of cheerios. I hand it to him and he looks up at me, blows a raspberry and turns the bowl upside down and then steps on all the cheerios he can before I scoop him up. Luckily, the little dog has heard the cheerios and materialized in the kitchen. She eats them all and runs back upstairs. The boy turns towards the retreating dog and flings his now empty bowl in her direction and begins to wail. I pick him up and he jams his finger up my nose. I refill his bowl with cinnamon toast crunch, grab my coffee and we go to the couch. I turn on the Baby First channel and we watch the Shushybye people and the sand artist, he is quiet and still for these 11 minutes but as soon as Bonnie Bear comes on, he jumps up and walks straight off the couch into thin air. I, with the lightning quick reflexes of a puma, snatch him up and keep him from certain doom. I put him down and he claps his hands and takes off for the stairs. I repeat the following steps 96 times: Bring baby to living room, sit down on the floor near his toys, attempt to interest him in the toys, duck the toy flying toward my head/hand/legs, and then catch toddler before he makes it to the stairs.
By this time its 6:03 and I realize we won’t be going to back to sleep at all. I make lunches, I get dressed, I get him dressed, I wake his sisters, they get ready, I take the dogs out, toddler boy takes a quick bath in the water bowl, and I change his clothes. We are ready to walk out the door, he poops. I change him. He refuses to put his coat back on. We get in the car and finally head to day care. We arrive at daycare. I open his door to get him out. The little twerp is sound asleep in his car seat.