Our car died today. I have known this day was coming for awhile, but I was still honestly surprised when Steve said that he had tried everything. He was still going to work on it today, but he wasn't optimistic. I have been dying to get rid of this car for some time. It was 15 years old, had no air conditioning and made the most awful rattle. I have known for some time that we really needed to upgrade, but I kept putting it off.
Then I thought about it. We brought all 3 of our girls home from the hospital in that car. I have an image in my mind of the 3 of them sitting together in the back and hearing Maddy and Abbey giggle as they take turns putting in Izzy's pacifier because she hated them and would always spit them out.
I remember the day I got married, after the reception trying to fit my dress into the passenger seat, and it taking about 15 minutes before we were sure that none of the dress would get shut in the car door.
I remember the night we drove frantically to Peoria trying to be faster than a helicopter. Trying to have some kind of normal conversation that didn't involve hysterical screaming. Thinking how insane it felt to have the radio on, so we finally turned it off, and drove in silence.
I remember driving home with that empty pink car seat the next day. Duffy in the passenger seat reading a book about talking to the girls about death. Me remembering that I told the girls Izzy would be okay and we would bring her home. Wondering if they'd remember that I lied.
I'm sure that I'll have these memories with or without the car. But I'm gonna miss that car.
Then I thought about it. We brought all 3 of our girls home from the hospital in that car. I have an image in my mind of the 3 of them sitting together in the back and hearing Maddy and Abbey giggle as they take turns putting in Izzy's pacifier because she hated them and would always spit them out.
I remember the day I got married, after the reception trying to fit my dress into the passenger seat, and it taking about 15 minutes before we were sure that none of the dress would get shut in the car door.
I remember the night we drove frantically to Peoria trying to be faster than a helicopter. Trying to have some kind of normal conversation that didn't involve hysterical screaming. Thinking how insane it felt to have the radio on, so we finally turned it off, and drove in silence.
I remember driving home with that empty pink car seat the next day. Duffy in the passenger seat reading a book about talking to the girls about death. Me remembering that I told the girls Izzy would be okay and we would bring her home. Wondering if they'd remember that I lied.
I'm sure that I'll have these memories with or without the car. But I'm gonna miss that car.
I know it's more than just a car and I know the timing is bad and you don't need the stress. But at the same time, when I got off the phone with you yesterday I was crying tears of relief that it was JUST a car.
ReplyDeleteI'm just so glad you guys are OK and I've been missing you all, too. We'll have to get together soon. Love you guys. :)