I belong to a website for grieving parents called the MISS foundation. Mother's in Shared Sorrow. They are an organization that helps promote and organize a number of things, among them support groups for grieving parents. There is one in the entire state of Illinois. As you can imagine, it's not close by.
I would like to start a chapter here. I am currently ineligible to start one because I do not have enough grief experience. They recommend that you be 12-18 months into your misery before you reach out to help others through theirs. I will admit that there must be some wisdom to this. It seems logical. I understand.
However, I have met 2 women who have lost children this summer also. I think that we could be a tremendous help to each other. I have reached out to both of them and I exchange messages with one woman. It helps me recognize that I am starting to heal. Her grief reminds me of where I was 3 months ago. I hope that by listening and assuring her that time will soften the hurt that I can help her the way I have been helped by women who have suffered before me.
I have written before about this Band of Mothers I belong to. It's a club no one wants to join. I would happily trade in my membership for Isabelle. But since God has made it abundantly clear that this is not an option, I will do what I can to reconcile myself to this life.
I am working to find my new identity. I was honored to get to join the mother of 3 daughters club. To find myself joining the new mommy's club again. Now my membership in those clubs is on hold. I feel funny commiserating with the new mom's about weight loss and exercise and dieting. When I talk about newborn stuff regarding Izzy, it makes people uncomfortable. I could talk about my grief, but that's never great for small talk. So I exist in my little circles and do what I do, but it always feels like there is something missing.
When I have reached out to these women who are newer to their grief than me, I feel useful. I want to help them. I feel an urge to be there for someone. I try really hard to be a good listener, and I want them to feel they can talk to me, and know that I have some idea of how they hurt. It makes me feel better knowing something good can come, even from something so horrible. I hope I can help. I hope someone will let me.
I would like to start a chapter here. I am currently ineligible to start one because I do not have enough grief experience. They recommend that you be 12-18 months into your misery before you reach out to help others through theirs. I will admit that there must be some wisdom to this. It seems logical. I understand.
However, I have met 2 women who have lost children this summer also. I think that we could be a tremendous help to each other. I have reached out to both of them and I exchange messages with one woman. It helps me recognize that I am starting to heal. Her grief reminds me of where I was 3 months ago. I hope that by listening and assuring her that time will soften the hurt that I can help her the way I have been helped by women who have suffered before me.
I have written before about this Band of Mothers I belong to. It's a club no one wants to join. I would happily trade in my membership for Isabelle. But since God has made it abundantly clear that this is not an option, I will do what I can to reconcile myself to this life.
I am working to find my new identity. I was honored to get to join the mother of 3 daughters club. To find myself joining the new mommy's club again. Now my membership in those clubs is on hold. I feel funny commiserating with the new mom's about weight loss and exercise and dieting. When I talk about newborn stuff regarding Izzy, it makes people uncomfortable. I could talk about my grief, but that's never great for small talk. So I exist in my little circles and do what I do, but it always feels like there is something missing.
When I have reached out to these women who are newer to their grief than me, I feel useful. I want to help them. I feel an urge to be there for someone. I try really hard to be a good listener, and I want them to feel they can talk to me, and know that I have some idea of how they hurt. It makes me feel better knowing something good can come, even from something so horrible. I hope I can help. I hope someone will let me.
You are a wonderful listener, and I hope you are able to help, too. I'm sure you will be.
ReplyDeleteThere is a grief share group here in Lewistown (or surrounding area). I'm not sure exactly who belongs or what all they do, but I know it's a place where people talk about their grief and learn about grieving.
ReplyDelete