Apparently I need to clarify a few things.
I KNOW that there are plenty of people willing to listen to me. (I said that)
I KNOW that I have many friends who are there for me. (I said that)
I KNOW that anyone who doesn't have time for me aren't my friends. (I said that)
I KNOW that all I have to do is ask. (I said that)
I KNOW that I am the one who isn't willing or interested in opening up. (I said that)
I write this blog for myself. I appreciate all of you who read this blog and I especially appreciate those of you that comment. It is much easier for me to put my feelings down in black and white. Although it isn't really, it feels anonymous this way. I can say whatever I need to say and not have to SEE someone's reaction to it. Because almost always, the other person's reaction is sadness, and then I feel compelled to comfort them, because that is what I do. (Again, I know no one expects me to comfort them, I am referring to MY FEELINGS)
My feelings are my own. I have to find my own path through this grief. Duffy is finding is own path, and everyone who loved Izzy has to find their own path. I may have dark days. I may cry every day for the forseeable future. I am living with that. If I have to distance myself from people who will not allow me the space and freedom to grieve as I need to grieve, I will live with that too. I have learned a lot about living in the last 3 months.
If you feel I am not sad enough, or I'm too sad, or if you disagree with how I'm handling myself, you have options. Shut your mouth and keep your unsolicited opinion to yourself, stop reading my blog, and go on about your own life. Or stop and think about how you'd feel if you lost something truly dear to you, and what you would do, and how wild you'd feel about people telling you what you should or should not do. Then you can still go ahead, shut your mouth, keep your unsolicited opinion to yourself and stop reading my blog. Life is too short and my time is too precious.
A final word to those of you that I love. Thank you. For sending positive thoughts and prayers my way every day. Thank you. For visiting Izzy and leaving her flowers. Thank you. For letting me be normal when I want to be. Thank you. For letting me laugh when I want to. Thank you. For always knowing, somehow, when I need you. Thank you. For continuing to love my beautiful angel daughter. Thank you. For helping me ensure Maddy and Abbey continue to have a wonderful childhood. Thank you. For being part of my life.
I KNOW that there are plenty of people willing to listen to me. (I said that)
I KNOW that I have many friends who are there for me. (I said that)
I KNOW that anyone who doesn't have time for me aren't my friends. (I said that)
I KNOW that all I have to do is ask. (I said that)
I KNOW that I am the one who isn't willing or interested in opening up. (I said that)
I write this blog for myself. I appreciate all of you who read this blog and I especially appreciate those of you that comment. It is much easier for me to put my feelings down in black and white. Although it isn't really, it feels anonymous this way. I can say whatever I need to say and not have to SEE someone's reaction to it. Because almost always, the other person's reaction is sadness, and then I feel compelled to comfort them, because that is what I do. (Again, I know no one expects me to comfort them, I am referring to MY FEELINGS)
My feelings are my own. I have to find my own path through this grief. Duffy is finding is own path, and everyone who loved Izzy has to find their own path. I may have dark days. I may cry every day for the forseeable future. I am living with that. If I have to distance myself from people who will not allow me the space and freedom to grieve as I need to grieve, I will live with that too. I have learned a lot about living in the last 3 months.
If you feel I am not sad enough, or I'm too sad, or if you disagree with how I'm handling myself, you have options. Shut your mouth and keep your unsolicited opinion to yourself, stop reading my blog, and go on about your own life. Or stop and think about how you'd feel if you lost something truly dear to you, and what you would do, and how wild you'd feel about people telling you what you should or should not do. Then you can still go ahead, shut your mouth, keep your unsolicited opinion to yourself and stop reading my blog. Life is too short and my time is too precious.
A final word to those of you that I love. Thank you. For sending positive thoughts and prayers my way every day. Thank you. For visiting Izzy and leaving her flowers. Thank you. For letting me be normal when I want to be. Thank you. For letting me laugh when I want to. Thank you. For always knowing, somehow, when I need you. Thank you. For continuing to love my beautiful angel daughter. Thank you. For helping me ensure Maddy and Abbey continue to have a wonderful childhood. Thank you. For being part of my life.
Lots of thoughts and prayers coming your way...
ReplyDelete"Thought of you with love today, but that is nothing new. I thought about you yesterday, and days before that too. I think of you in silence, I often speak your name. All I have are memories and a picture in a frame. Your memory is a keepsake, with which I'll never part. God has you in His keeping, I have you in my heart."
May you take life every day at a time...more like every minute at a time. Only you know how you need to grieve. Be true to YOURSELF!
~Lori
I know you aren't talking about me, but if I tell you too often that you can talk to me, I'm sorry. It's mostly for Pots and Pans Niki's benefit because I know that logical Niki already knows.
ReplyDeleteI love you and the kids love you and Tom loves you. We love the girls and we love Duffy.