I try very hard to be a good mom. There are so many things I want to do and say to the girls, but sometimes I forget and get wrapped up in the moment and what I want to do, that I forget.
I wish I could get down on the floor and play for hours. I would like to play kitchen and restaurant, and spend hours setting up elaborate games and play time.
I wish we spent hours and hours baking cookies and doing crafts, and going to listen to live music, and doing stuff.
I wish I never lost my patience with them when they are whiny and frustrated. I wish I never raised my voice to them.
I wish I never hurt their feelings.
I wish I could give them everything that I didn't have.
I wish I could remember every smile and laugh and cuddle that they give me.
I wish that I could say I had never broken their hearts.
There are so many things I wish I hadn't or had done. There are so many ways that I feel inadequate as a mother. I wish I could see the future and know what they will think of me when they become mother's themselves. I hope they remember the good more than the bad. I hope they remember that I apologized when I was wrong, and hugged them when they were sad. I hope they remember our cookie days and stay home seafood sundays. I hope they remember that I cried with them and laughed with them and that I always wanted to be with them. I hope.
I wish I could get down on the floor and play for hours. I would like to play kitchen and restaurant, and spend hours setting up elaborate games and play time.
I wish we spent hours and hours baking cookies and doing crafts, and going to listen to live music, and doing stuff.
I wish I never lost my patience with them when they are whiny and frustrated. I wish I never raised my voice to them.
I wish I never hurt their feelings.
I wish I could give them everything that I didn't have.
I wish I could remember every smile and laugh and cuddle that they give me.
I wish that I could say I had never broken their hearts.
There are so many things I wish I hadn't or had done. There are so many ways that I feel inadequate as a mother. I wish I could see the future and know what they will think of me when they become mother's themselves. I hope they remember the good more than the bad. I hope they remember that I apologized when I was wrong, and hugged them when they were sad. I hope they remember our cookie days and stay home seafood sundays. I hope they remember that I cried with them and laughed with them and that I always wanted to be with them. I hope.
You have put into words a lot of feelings that moms have, including myself. No matter how much we do, there is always a nagging voice that wonders if we could have done more. I think the fact that we feel this is a sign of just how much we love our kids and want to do what is best for them. All we can do is our very best, and pray that it is enough. Pleae know that you are not alone in feeling this way...Kathy Crossland Thomas
ReplyDeleteAs i watched sometimes from afar i saw a very sweet adorable girl become a young woman, and watched with great awe as she became a wife and than a mom herself. It was a warm and very precious thing, to know at playing barbies, having birthday parties, sewing doll clothes, pretending to camp in the front room and oh the World Wrestling heart throbs....a mother never feels that there is enough time but the memories she holds deep in her heart last forever as will yours. You are doing everything right as a mom, I am so proud of you. Love M
ReplyDeleteI have seen you with your girls/my nieces and I think you are a wonderful mother that does all she can do for her children!!
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