Watched a good movie last night, The Bucket List with Jack Nicholson and Morgan Freeman. It was good and I have been wanting to watch it for a while. I wasn't sure that I wanted to, and in fact I haven't watched any movies with death in them for 9 months now. But I watched it and I enjoyed it and I cried through almost the whole thing. It made me think about death and dying and what I want to do with the rest of what I'm assuming is my long time left.
I used to be terrified of dying, I would have listed that as my number one fear. It's not anymore. I don't know if I can explain this well, but I'm going to try. I want to spend as many minutes, days, months and years as possible here with my girls and my husband and the rest of the people I love. I want to go wedding dress shopping and hold my grandchildren and great grandchildren. I want to listen to my husband in his wavery old man voice rail against the bleeding heart liberals. I want to take phone calls from the girls about their daughter's attitude or their latest accomplishments. I can't wait for all of those things.
I thought about the big things I want to do. I thought about my bucket list. I want to visit all 50 states. I want to visit Africa and see the big game live. I want to learn to shoot a gun. I want to see the 50th Isabelle Duffy Memorial Blood drive hosted. I want to see all of my children graduate from college. I want to take my grandchildren to Hawaii and see them play on the black sand beaches. I want to run a marathon. I want to see a musical on Broadway.
I think things on my list will change with time. My visit with Dr. Tarantino may have put a permanent damper on the marathon and that may have to be downgraded to a 5K, but I guess we'll have to see.
I thought, again, about seeing Isabelle again when I die. I will get to hug her and kiss her and spend time with her and tell her all the things I have been saving up since May 20th. I tell them to her now, and she may look at me and say "Mom, I know, I have been listening." But I will still get to touch her and hold her. I can not wait for that. I can not wait.
So I'm left here, very much looking forward to all of the things life has in store for me, and very much looking forward to the great joy that Heaven is holding for me.
I used to be terrified of dying, I would have listed that as my number one fear. It's not anymore. I don't know if I can explain this well, but I'm going to try. I want to spend as many minutes, days, months and years as possible here with my girls and my husband and the rest of the people I love. I want to go wedding dress shopping and hold my grandchildren and great grandchildren. I want to listen to my husband in his wavery old man voice rail against the bleeding heart liberals. I want to take phone calls from the girls about their daughter's attitude or their latest accomplishments. I can't wait for all of those things.
I thought about the big things I want to do. I thought about my bucket list. I want to visit all 50 states. I want to visit Africa and see the big game live. I want to learn to shoot a gun. I want to see the 50th Isabelle Duffy Memorial Blood drive hosted. I want to see all of my children graduate from college. I want to take my grandchildren to Hawaii and see them play on the black sand beaches. I want to run a marathon. I want to see a musical on Broadway.
I think things on my list will change with time. My visit with Dr. Tarantino may have put a permanent damper on the marathon and that may have to be downgraded to a 5K, but I guess we'll have to see.
I thought, again, about seeing Isabelle again when I die. I will get to hug her and kiss her and spend time with her and tell her all the things I have been saving up since May 20th. I tell them to her now, and she may look at me and say "Mom, I know, I have been listening." But I will still get to touch her and hold her. I can not wait for that. I can not wait.
So I'm left here, very much looking forward to all of the things life has in store for me, and very much looking forward to the great joy that Heaven is holding for me.
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