Good bye boobs, it’s been nice knowing you. I’m having to say goodbye to my lovely C cups and welcome back my barely A’s. It’s been in the works for several weeks now. JT is just not interested in nursing anymore. I was determined to make it a full year, but he’s not on the same agenda as me. See, the world is too fascinating. There are trucks and bugs and sisters and big boy cups and dogs and clouds and blankets and you get the point.
I had set my personal goal at 6 months. Because of my job with Maddy and Abbey I only made it 3ish months, so I was determined to do better this time. Then I got this amazing job at the Health Department and was so supported in my breastfeeding endeavors, and my pumping breaks were so well accommodated, that it was remarkably easy to get to 6 months, so we kept going, and I thought a year would be a breeze. I attribute JT’s nearly complete lack of illness to breastfeeding, my return to size 2-4 clothes, and his very healthy growth rate to breastfeeding. He has had 1 ear infection, and 2 colds with congestion that caused our only non-wellness check visits to the doctor. I tried to calculate how much money we saved on formula, but it was hard to calculate what he would have consumed in formula, as a typical formula fed baby takes many more ounces of formula than a breast fed baby does in pumped milk. At nearly 1 year, he still just takes 4-6 ounces at most, and more often than not it’s just 2-3 ounces and he’s only asking for a bottle 2-3 times a day. If memory serves, at this stage, the girls were well over 8 ounces many times a day.
One of the best results of breastfeeding for a year? The boost it gave my confidence. It wasn’t easy. I did 99% of the middle of the night waking up. When I was horribly sick with the stomach bug, and when I got the flu and missed 2 days of work (unheard of for me), I still had to nurse and pump. When I was so exhausted I cried with the misery of it, still had to nurse and pump. Before my milk came in (delayed due to my cesarean) and JT was hungry and just wanted to have a boob in his mouth 24/7 or he cried, and I hadn’t slept for the last 2 months of my pregnancy, I nursed. When I was at a dance competition in a theater with hundreds of people, I nursed without a cover. When we were at a restaurant, a crowded restaurant, I nursed without a cover. As JT got older and I nursed in public, my sense of pride grew. When he moved up to the next, older baby room at day care, and he was the ONLY baby still on breast milk, my pride soared. And I began to imagine saying that I nursed PAST a year.
And then the decline began. It started when he started sleeping through the night, we went through a stretch where he was waking 2-3 times a night to nurse, and he really just wanted to sleep nurse, it wasn’t that he was hungry, it was that he wanted to snuggle and comfort nurse, well a little bit of it was that he was hungry, but JT was always very adept at nursing differently for food than he did for comfort and I could tell what he was in the mood for by the amount of swallowing I could hear. So once he really started sleeping, then we were down to nursing first thing in the morning when he woke up and then in the evening when we first got home. That was fine; I knew that as he approached his first birthday he’d taper off. Then he abandoned the evening nursing in favor of howling for his plate of dinner. I would try in vain to nurse him to hold him over until we had dinner on the table, but he would thrash and sit up and bite and I was not about to force the issue just so I could reach some goal of mine. So about a month ago we were down to nursing just one time a day, and I would pump just enough at work for 6 ounces which is about what he was taking in his bottles over the course of the whole day at day care. I was always able to pump enough to get him through the day and I can count only a handful of times that he had formula at day care. (This is a great source of pride for me!!!)
Well, now he’s done with the early morning nursing. The last time I nursed him in the morning was 2 days ago and it was for less than 5 minutes and the whole time, he fidgeted and grunted and sat up and lay down and was more interested in the dog and the ceiling fan and my necklace.
Now, don’t get me wrong, I still offered the last 2 mornings, he just declined, very politely, no biting, but a very definite “No thank you mom.” And while I’m sad, I understand. And I’m giving myself a ton of credit for making it this far and if anyone asks, I’m saying I nursed for a year. I’m totally taking credit for these last 5 days whether the little turkey actually nurses or not.
I had set my personal goal at 6 months. Because of my job with Maddy and Abbey I only made it 3ish months, so I was determined to do better this time. Then I got this amazing job at the Health Department and was so supported in my breastfeeding endeavors, and my pumping breaks were so well accommodated, that it was remarkably easy to get to 6 months, so we kept going, and I thought a year would be a breeze. I attribute JT’s nearly complete lack of illness to breastfeeding, my return to size 2-4 clothes, and his very healthy growth rate to breastfeeding. He has had 1 ear infection, and 2 colds with congestion that caused our only non-wellness check visits to the doctor. I tried to calculate how much money we saved on formula, but it was hard to calculate what he would have consumed in formula, as a typical formula fed baby takes many more ounces of formula than a breast fed baby does in pumped milk. At nearly 1 year, he still just takes 4-6 ounces at most, and more often than not it’s just 2-3 ounces and he’s only asking for a bottle 2-3 times a day. If memory serves, at this stage, the girls were well over 8 ounces many times a day.
One of the best results of breastfeeding for a year? The boost it gave my confidence. It wasn’t easy. I did 99% of the middle of the night waking up. When I was horribly sick with the stomach bug, and when I got the flu and missed 2 days of work (unheard of for me), I still had to nurse and pump. When I was so exhausted I cried with the misery of it, still had to nurse and pump. Before my milk came in (delayed due to my cesarean) and JT was hungry and just wanted to have a boob in his mouth 24/7 or he cried, and I hadn’t slept for the last 2 months of my pregnancy, I nursed. When I was at a dance competition in a theater with hundreds of people, I nursed without a cover. When we were at a restaurant, a crowded restaurant, I nursed without a cover. As JT got older and I nursed in public, my sense of pride grew. When he moved up to the next, older baby room at day care, and he was the ONLY baby still on breast milk, my pride soared. And I began to imagine saying that I nursed PAST a year.
And then the decline began. It started when he started sleeping through the night, we went through a stretch where he was waking 2-3 times a night to nurse, and he really just wanted to sleep nurse, it wasn’t that he was hungry, it was that he wanted to snuggle and comfort nurse, well a little bit of it was that he was hungry, but JT was always very adept at nursing differently for food than he did for comfort and I could tell what he was in the mood for by the amount of swallowing I could hear. So once he really started sleeping, then we were down to nursing first thing in the morning when he woke up and then in the evening when we first got home. That was fine; I knew that as he approached his first birthday he’d taper off. Then he abandoned the evening nursing in favor of howling for his plate of dinner. I would try in vain to nurse him to hold him over until we had dinner on the table, but he would thrash and sit up and bite and I was not about to force the issue just so I could reach some goal of mine. So about a month ago we were down to nursing just one time a day, and I would pump just enough at work for 6 ounces which is about what he was taking in his bottles over the course of the whole day at day care. I was always able to pump enough to get him through the day and I can count only a handful of times that he had formula at day care. (This is a great source of pride for me!!!)
Well, now he’s done with the early morning nursing. The last time I nursed him in the morning was 2 days ago and it was for less than 5 minutes and the whole time, he fidgeted and grunted and sat up and lay down and was more interested in the dog and the ceiling fan and my necklace.
Now, don’t get me wrong, I still offered the last 2 mornings, he just declined, very politely, no biting, but a very definite “No thank you mom.” And while I’m sad, I understand. And I’m giving myself a ton of credit for making it this far and if anyone asks, I’m saying I nursed for a year. I’m totally taking credit for these last 5 days whether the little turkey actually nurses or not.
I feel ya. WOOHOO for a year, though!!!
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