If I had a nickel for every time I have felt like banging my head against a wall because I just can’t get what I want from others, there’d be a nationwide shortage of nickels and I’d be really pissing some people off with my bill payment methods. The list of things that I want out of people is pretty simple and pretty easy. And it shouldn’t be this hard for me to be happy with the general public. Or so I thought until I started to write about how much of pain the general public is. Turns out it might NOT be them.
Allow me to illustrate…..
I want to be able to tell you what I think. If you are being a complete nutjob I should be able to call you on it, because maybe you don’t know, or maybe no one has ever told you that you’re insane. Whatever the reason, you deserve to know. If I think you’re being reckless and careless I want to be able to warn you and give you advice without you getting all put out. But I don’t want to be the one that puts that hurt look on your face, and I don’t want you to stop asking my opinion because you can’t stand to hear my answer. And I really don’t want to make you cry. I’m also not a big fan of people calling me on my own nutty behavior. It’s just quirky, OKAY.
I want to feel wanted. I want people to notice if I disappear off the face of the planet. And when I do disappear, I would like to be missed. When I don’t come to a meeting/party/game/event, I would like people to feel at least a little disappointed that I’m not there. I don’t need to be the CENTER of attention, I just like to feel like I belong and that I’m valued and that my opinion and actions matter. BUT I don’t want to be NEEDED. I don’t want a whole bunch of people that hang on my every word and need me to make decisions or take actions or prop them up around their own insecurities and actions. You can live without me, trust me, millions of Americans do it every day. Their lives are a little less bright than yours, but it’s possible. Just miss me a little when I’m not around. Don’t cling to my limbs and sob when I try to extricate myself. (This does not apply to my children, they can wrap their little bodies around my legs and I’ll walk them everywhere.)
I want to debate you on any topic under the sun. I love to debate. I like to trade information, there are a lot of perspectives out there that are different than mine. Odds are, I’m going to think that you’re wrong, but don’t take it personally. I’ll still like you at the end. I may get agitated and I may seem angry. I’m not, I just get pumped up when debating. I would be ecstatic if I could get you to say “Wow, what a great point, I’ve never thought about it that way.” But I tend to be a horrible loser, so if you show me up, I’m likely to go pout somewhere.
I like to pride myself on being pretty laidback. I don’t get mad often and I’m really stumped 90% of the time when people blow their lids. I like to pride myself on my mellow/zen approach to life in general. And I don’t understand why people get mad and yell and throw things and slam doors. Unless I’m feeling crazy irrational and I slam the door behind me because I thought the keys were in the car and they’re not and if you had started the laundry last night, I wouldn’t be looking for my keys now.
I am not needy. I can make myself happy. I do not require others to find my own inner happiness. But it’s been 42 minutes since I sent you that text, did I offend you? Ummmm, I was kind of fishing for a compliment, could you tell me I’m pretty/funny/smart/hilarious? Just pick one. I just need one compliment.
Aren’t I a wonderfully contradictory delight? Geez. I’m a mess.
Allow me to illustrate…..
I want to be able to tell you what I think. If you are being a complete nutjob I should be able to call you on it, because maybe you don’t know, or maybe no one has ever told you that you’re insane. Whatever the reason, you deserve to know. If I think you’re being reckless and careless I want to be able to warn you and give you advice without you getting all put out. But I don’t want to be the one that puts that hurt look on your face, and I don’t want you to stop asking my opinion because you can’t stand to hear my answer. And I really don’t want to make you cry. I’m also not a big fan of people calling me on my own nutty behavior. It’s just quirky, OKAY.
I want to feel wanted. I want people to notice if I disappear off the face of the planet. And when I do disappear, I would like to be missed. When I don’t come to a meeting/party/game/event, I would like people to feel at least a little disappointed that I’m not there. I don’t need to be the CENTER of attention, I just like to feel like I belong and that I’m valued and that my opinion and actions matter. BUT I don’t want to be NEEDED. I don’t want a whole bunch of people that hang on my every word and need me to make decisions or take actions or prop them up around their own insecurities and actions. You can live without me, trust me, millions of Americans do it every day. Their lives are a little less bright than yours, but it’s possible. Just miss me a little when I’m not around. Don’t cling to my limbs and sob when I try to extricate myself. (This does not apply to my children, they can wrap their little bodies around my legs and I’ll walk them everywhere.)
I want to debate you on any topic under the sun. I love to debate. I like to trade information, there are a lot of perspectives out there that are different than mine. Odds are, I’m going to think that you’re wrong, but don’t take it personally. I’ll still like you at the end. I may get agitated and I may seem angry. I’m not, I just get pumped up when debating. I would be ecstatic if I could get you to say “Wow, what a great point, I’ve never thought about it that way.” But I tend to be a horrible loser, so if you show me up, I’m likely to go pout somewhere.
I like to pride myself on being pretty laidback. I don’t get mad often and I’m really stumped 90% of the time when people blow their lids. I like to pride myself on my mellow/zen approach to life in general. And I don’t understand why people get mad and yell and throw things and slam doors. Unless I’m feeling crazy irrational and I slam the door behind me because I thought the keys were in the car and they’re not and if you had started the laundry last night, I wouldn’t be looking for my keys now.
I am not needy. I can make myself happy. I do not require others to find my own inner happiness. But it’s been 42 minutes since I sent you that text, did I offend you? Ummmm, I was kind of fishing for a compliment, could you tell me I’m pretty/funny/smart/hilarious? Just pick one. I just need one compliment.
Aren’t I a wonderfully contradictory delight? Geez. I’m a mess.
I really admire you and am quite jealous of the mother you are...I read your facebook post and think wow how does she do it all, she has to be wonder woman...you inspire me to be the best mom I can be :)
ReplyDeleteSometimes reading your posts is like looking in the mirror for me, your just explain me more eloquently than I ever could.
ReplyDelete