The sky twinkled down at her. She peered up, looking for answers, looking for guidance, looking for the strength to not lose her mind during hour number 3 of bedtime. She chanted wearily to herself, “he’s cute, he’s adorable, you love him, it won’t be like this forever.” It was 10:45 on a Sunday evening and she’d been trying to put the boy to sleep since 7:45. Bedtime was at 8 and she started the routine a little before to have plenty of books and cuddle time. As she stared out the window into the black night she tried to recall where she’d gone wrong.
At 7:45 she announced that it was time to go upstairs and read books before night-night time. He looked up from his train track and said “boos?” and threw his truck and train aside and grabbed his blanket. He headed immediately for the stairs only be stopped by his sister who said “Please give me a bedtime kiss.” He grabbed a handful of her lovely blonde hair bit her on the nose and proceeded up the stairs oblivious to her wailing. Mommy lifted him off the stairs and bade him apologize and give a kiss. He responded by leaning in for a solid headbutt to the already offended party. After several minutes of stern cajoling, the wounded sister and exasperated mother settled for a fist bump and a smile. And the boy and mother resumed their trek toward night-night time.
Upon entering his bedroom, the boy remembered where he had hidden his trucks and the book that makes 17 different animal sounds. He sat obstinately on the floor pushing the buttons and vrooming his cars around the floor. The mother leaned over and picked up him, but accidentally grasped the super secret toddler body part that renders any and all toddlers limp and boneless. She lost her hold and he crashed into the pile of stuffed animals that wouldn’t fit on the bed. He leaped up and held his arms up excitedly, “MORE, MORE, MORE!!!” He demanded. “No, it’s night night time, we are going to read our Elmo bedtime story and go night-night.”
There was a brief moment of silence. She sensed in that moment a shift in the current. “NOOOOOO.” The window rattled and the dog beat a hasty retreat down the stairs. Mommy waited for the shrieking to end and she knelt down at his eye level with his blanket in hand and said “yes, it is your bedtime and we are going to read a book and we are going to go night-night.” He snapped at her with his mouth while snatching blanket out of her hand. She reached for him, but he slipped through her hands and ran cackling down the hallway. With both sisters watching from the bottom of the stairs, she went in pursuit of the escapee. He scrambled onto her bed with the nimbleness of a howler monkey and began tossing pillows at her, jumping and bouncing gleefully. She reached for him and he wrapped his arms around the headboard. She grabbed both legs with one of her arms, attempting to disentangle his arms from the headboard, all while dodging the treacherous snapping teeth that she had brushed with a Cookie Monster toothbrush a mere hour ago. She glanced at the alarm clock and it read 8:20. How had 35 minutes passed since she made her first bedtime announcement?
She pried his fingers off the final piece of headboard and carried him kicking and howling back to his room. The sisters had popped some popcorn and were perched at the top of the stairs now for the full show. She maintained her grip on his torso as his appendages wriggled and writhed, desperate for escape. She turned off his lamp, plunging the room into darkness which stilled the toddler in her arms for a moment.
“Mommy?” He called out. She could see his head turning and looking around, temporarily blinded by the darkness.
“I’m right here. I am holding you.”
She knelt down next to his bed and laid him gently on his pillow. She handed him his blanket and his best friend Max the monkey. She kissed his forehead and said “Good night, sleep tight, don’t let any bedbugs bite, I love you and I’ll see you in the morning.”
He rubbed his eyes and said “night night” She sat at the edge of his bed in amazement at the cuteness of his little chubby cheeks and his little arms and the 2 new freckles on his nose and his legs which began thrashing about and then turned over and then sat up and then…..
“MOMMY!!!!!” He leaped up, his elbow catching the corner of her glasses, driving the hard plastic nosepiece into the corner of her eye, rendering her temporarily blind in that eye. He covered her head with his blanket and leaped spread eagled off his bed into her face. They went down in a sprawling tangled pile of mother and toddler. She hit her face on the runner of the rocking chair and his knee caught her squarely in the windpipe. Reflexively she reached out an arm and caught his leg as he scrambled to regain his footing and make a run for hit. She held on as he kicked at her with his other leg and when she had him contained and unable to squirm she placed him back into bed and held on to him until he was still. She recited “Good Night Moon” twice and sang every song she could think of and soon a sister peered into the room and said “Mom, it’s 10, we’re going to bed now.”
Confident that he had been sufficiently subdued to stay prostrate for the 5 minutes it would take to say good night to the sisters. She walked out of the room and into the oldest’s room. She said good night and turned off the light and turned to leave and walked into the boy. “Get back into bed!” He scurried back into his room and she proceeded to the middle’s room. Said good night and turned off the light and turned around and walked into the boy. This time she merely pointed and he went back to his room.
She sat next to his bed and watched his eyes slowly close and then he flopped himself around. He repeated the cycle, keeping himself from falling asleep. She laid on the floor, counting to 100, imagining herself on a beach, planning her menu for the next week. She stared out the window for guidance and finally with a heavy sigh, she resigned herself to her fate.
“Alright, lets go to bed.” She scooped up the exhausted boy, and his blanket and his monkey. She laid them in her bed and she laid down next to him, and cradled his head in the crook of her arm. He looked into her eyes, patted her cheek, said “mommy night-night” and closed his eyes. The little twerp fell right asleep.
At 7:45 she announced that it was time to go upstairs and read books before night-night time. He looked up from his train track and said “boos?” and threw his truck and train aside and grabbed his blanket. He headed immediately for the stairs only be stopped by his sister who said “Please give me a bedtime kiss.” He grabbed a handful of her lovely blonde hair bit her on the nose and proceeded up the stairs oblivious to her wailing. Mommy lifted him off the stairs and bade him apologize and give a kiss. He responded by leaning in for a solid headbutt to the already offended party. After several minutes of stern cajoling, the wounded sister and exasperated mother settled for a fist bump and a smile. And the boy and mother resumed their trek toward night-night time.
Upon entering his bedroom, the boy remembered where he had hidden his trucks and the book that makes 17 different animal sounds. He sat obstinately on the floor pushing the buttons and vrooming his cars around the floor. The mother leaned over and picked up him, but accidentally grasped the super secret toddler body part that renders any and all toddlers limp and boneless. She lost her hold and he crashed into the pile of stuffed animals that wouldn’t fit on the bed. He leaped up and held his arms up excitedly, “MORE, MORE, MORE!!!” He demanded. “No, it’s night night time, we are going to read our Elmo bedtime story and go night-night.”
There was a brief moment of silence. She sensed in that moment a shift in the current. “NOOOOOO.” The window rattled and the dog beat a hasty retreat down the stairs. Mommy waited for the shrieking to end and she knelt down at his eye level with his blanket in hand and said “yes, it is your bedtime and we are going to read a book and we are going to go night-night.” He snapped at her with his mouth while snatching blanket out of her hand. She reached for him, but he slipped through her hands and ran cackling down the hallway. With both sisters watching from the bottom of the stairs, she went in pursuit of the escapee. He scrambled onto her bed with the nimbleness of a howler monkey and began tossing pillows at her, jumping and bouncing gleefully. She reached for him and he wrapped his arms around the headboard. She grabbed both legs with one of her arms, attempting to disentangle his arms from the headboard, all while dodging the treacherous snapping teeth that she had brushed with a Cookie Monster toothbrush a mere hour ago. She glanced at the alarm clock and it read 8:20. How had 35 minutes passed since she made her first bedtime announcement?
She pried his fingers off the final piece of headboard and carried him kicking and howling back to his room. The sisters had popped some popcorn and were perched at the top of the stairs now for the full show. She maintained her grip on his torso as his appendages wriggled and writhed, desperate for escape. She turned off his lamp, plunging the room into darkness which stilled the toddler in her arms for a moment.
“Mommy?” He called out. She could see his head turning and looking around, temporarily blinded by the darkness.
“I’m right here. I am holding you.”
She knelt down next to his bed and laid him gently on his pillow. She handed him his blanket and his best friend Max the monkey. She kissed his forehead and said “Good night, sleep tight, don’t let any bedbugs bite, I love you and I’ll see you in the morning.”
He rubbed his eyes and said “night night” She sat at the edge of his bed in amazement at the cuteness of his little chubby cheeks and his little arms and the 2 new freckles on his nose and his legs which began thrashing about and then turned over and then sat up and then…..
“MOMMY!!!!!” He leaped up, his elbow catching the corner of her glasses, driving the hard plastic nosepiece into the corner of her eye, rendering her temporarily blind in that eye. He covered her head with his blanket and leaped spread eagled off his bed into her face. They went down in a sprawling tangled pile of mother and toddler. She hit her face on the runner of the rocking chair and his knee caught her squarely in the windpipe. Reflexively she reached out an arm and caught his leg as he scrambled to regain his footing and make a run for hit. She held on as he kicked at her with his other leg and when she had him contained and unable to squirm she placed him back into bed and held on to him until he was still. She recited “Good Night Moon” twice and sang every song she could think of and soon a sister peered into the room and said “Mom, it’s 10, we’re going to bed now.”
Confident that he had been sufficiently subdued to stay prostrate for the 5 minutes it would take to say good night to the sisters. She walked out of the room and into the oldest’s room. She said good night and turned off the light and turned to leave and walked into the boy. “Get back into bed!” He scurried back into his room and she proceeded to the middle’s room. Said good night and turned off the light and turned around and walked into the boy. This time she merely pointed and he went back to his room.
She sat next to his bed and watched his eyes slowly close and then he flopped himself around. He repeated the cycle, keeping himself from falling asleep. She laid on the floor, counting to 100, imagining herself on a beach, planning her menu for the next week. She stared out the window for guidance and finally with a heavy sigh, she resigned herself to her fate.
“Alright, lets go to bed.” She scooped up the exhausted boy, and his blanket and his monkey. She laid them in her bed and she laid down next to him, and cradled his head in the crook of her arm. He looked into her eyes, patted her cheek, said “mommy night-night” and closed his eyes. The little twerp fell right asleep.
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