Dont you dare

I'm not here to tell anyone how to live their lives, or what to do, or how to grieve, or how to support us in our grief. I'm not and I don't.
However, I am about to tell you the most important lesson I have learned in the last year. What goes on within the lives of the Duffys who live at 429 Summers Drive is more important than anything else. We will make any and all decisions about our lives in the best interests of those Duffys. I understand that means that our decisions will sometimes conflict with the desires of others. Before my daughter died, that would have mattered. It doesn't any more.
What matters now is my husband and my daughters and our lives and what we have to do to survive and get by. Most of those close to us have been extremely respectful of our wishes and have been tremendously supportive, and for that we are endlessly grateful. It is the love and caring that you have shown us that has helped us get by this last year, and without you, I'm not sure what we would have done.
Unfortunately, there are those of you that have felt the need to criticize us, condemn us, attack us and tell us that our decisions were wrong. I'm very sorry that you feel that way. Sorrier than you can imagine that you chose to attack us on the anniversary of our daughter's death. Sorrier than you can imagine, that you have chosen to shut us out of your life. Sorrier than you can imagine, that I can't make you understand that I don't second guess our decision for one second, and that your selfishness only reinforces that decision.
I've lost a lot of sleep in the last week trying to figure it out. I have called and tried to talk. Most of my phone calls have gone unanswered and unreturned. When the calls were answered, I wasn't heard. This blog has been used as ammunition against me. This blog is the ONE place that I can put all of the poison that is inside my mind. This blog is the place where I can put the words that I cannot speak because they are too physically painful. This blog is for me. I don't use this blog to communicate to others. This blog is for me. I leave it open to the public because I have been told that people read it to understand grief, because I hope if another grieving mother stumbles upon it, she'll know that she's not alone and she's not crazy. I use it share information about bleeding disorders, and our experiences as a bleeding disorder family. I recognize that I am part of a community and it's my responsibility to share my story, and that means all of my story. That however doesn't give anyone the right to use this blog as a weapon to attack us because I am not behaving or living the way you think I should. If you don't like it, don't read it. If you don't want to hear my story, don't read it. If you don't like what I do, say or decide, don't read it. If you haven't walked a step in my shoes, then don't you dare tell me what I should or should not be doing, saying, thinking or living.